bannerHON
img
HONnews
HONnews
img PATIENT / PARTICULIER img PROFESSIONNEL DE SANTE img WEBMESTRE img
img
 
img
HONcode sites
Khresmoi - new !
HONselect
News
Conferences
Images

Themes:
A B C D E F G H I
J K L M N O P Q
R S T U V W X Y Z
Browse archive:
2019: J J M A M F J
2018: D N O S A J

 
  Other news for:
Love
Mental Health
 Resources from HONselect
Should You Really Forgive and Forget?

By Len Canter
HealthDay Reporter

TUESDAY, Feb. 26, 2019 (HealthDay News) -- Is forgive and forget always the right approach after hurtful behavior from your spouse or significant other?

Research done at the University of North Carolina suggests it could actually set up a pattern of continued bad behavior, one in which you forgive and your spouse forgets the mistake and does it again.

Researchers evaluated a quality they call agreeableness and looked at the variations that could exist in a relationship: Both partners rank high in agreeableness; both rank low; or one partner is high and the other low.

People with a high level of agreeableness tend to put their relationship before themselves. If they do something hurtful and are forgiven, they tend not to repeat that behavior -- they feel it's only right to reciprocate with kindness.

People with a low level of agreeableness are more focused on themselves and more likely to repeat the hurtful behavior after being forgiven. They interpret a lack of sustained anger from their partner as a sign that their behavior wasn't bad enough to stop -- that they have his or her unspoken permission to keep acting the same way.

If your partner keeps repeating something that bothers you, consider where you each are on the agreeableness scale. Do you both believe in quick forgiveness? Do you both get angry after a breach? Or do you each react differently?

If you have differences in forgiveness style, have an honest talk about what anger and forgiveness mean to each of you. You might both acknowledge that forgiveness doesn't mean acceptance, and that anger doesn't mean you won't forgive.

And for those who tend to hold on to anger, keep in mind that forgiveness usually leads to a more satisfying relationship and has emotional and health benefits.

More information

The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley has more on the forgiveness research.

Copyright © 2019 HealthDay. All rights reserved. URL:http://consumer.healthday.com/Article.asp?AID=742356

Resources from HONselect: HONselect is the HON's medical search engine. It retrieves scientific articles, images, conferences and web sites on the selected subject.
Behavior
Anger
Spouses
Mental Health
Set (Psychology)
The list of medical terms above are retrieved automatically from the article.

Disclaimer: The text presented on this page is not a substitute for professional medical advice. It is for your information only and may not represent your true individual medical situation. Do not hesitate to consult your healthcare provider if you have any questions or concerns. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting a qualified healthcare professional.
Be advised that HealthDay articles are derived from various sources and may not reflect your own country regulations. The Health On the Net Foundation does not endorse opinions, products, or services that may appear in HealthDay articles.


Home img About us img MediaCorner img HON newsletter img Site map img Ethical policies img Contact